


snow

by moonlightrenjun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ...like WAY too much fluff, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, cute!! nice!! soft!!, supportive dreamies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 07:24:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16677199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlightrenjun/pseuds/moonlightrenjun
Summary: it’s a game of cat and mouse; although the cat isn’t really trying to catch the mouse and the mouse is almost daring himself to get caught.





	snow

he loves the snow, far too much than he should.

renjun takes one look at the snow outside and runs back inside, knocking on every single door of the dorm. “it’s snowing!” he yells to no one in particular as the guys open their door, groggily. renjun laughs devilishly at their half-awaken expressions, and looks at the clock.

“oh my bad! it’s seven am whoops! now that kind of reminds me of the time you all woke me up on my birthday at six huh?” renjun’s now the only one grinning in the hallway.

jeno shakes his head and groans ”renjun that was literally two years ag-”

“-let’s go outside and play!” renjun cheers as everyone walks back into the respective rooms, complaining about being woken up so early.

only one stays: jaemin. all he does is stare at renjun with something of a smile, shrugging before heading back inside, muttering something about putting on some warm clothes.

renjun cheers, “yes!” and runs downstairs, grabbing gloves, hats and scarves. a burst of excitement rushes through him as he puts on his heaviest jacket, jumping up and down waiting for jaemin.

after what feels like a millennium, jaemin arrives, and renjun throws a jacket at him as he grabs the keys to their apartment. they head outside silently, linking arms in the process. renjun looks in delight at the snow-covered houses with bare trees that call to him; everything just looks so magical, and renjun can’t help to stop and stare at it all.

jaemin tugs on his arm, running forward as he leaps around in the snow, kicking ice into the streets. renjun joins him and soon they end up collapsed on the snow behind a snow fort making angels in the pure white ground.

 

a few hours of playing pass by, jaemin and renjun fall silent as they hear footsteps approaching, and with one look at each other, they understand the plan. they launch themselves upward, throwing snowballs from their feet at the intruder.

chenle sputters, snow in his face as he looks from one boy to the other. “oh you two are so dead.” he growls, gathering up his own snow pile. in a instant, a snow fight starts. neither side can say for sure they’re winning. renjun gets snow straight to the face, and he sputters as he wipes it off to find a hellish smirk on chenle’s face, only to watch him fall backwards after jaemin sneak attacks.

soon, the boys are panting, tired of the game. they plop themselves down in the middle of the two opposing forts, shaking hands and exclaiming “truce.” renjun smiles, instantly brought back to easier days before being a trainee, days of snow fights that didn’t end until they were called (and practically dragged) inside.

he smiles harder when jaemin drops his hand into renjun, bringing warmness to his dead, cold hands.

 

once they head back through the hallway leading to their apartment, they trample the poor carpet on the front door with piles of snow. jeno, who is making his way from the kitchen back to his own room, winces with one look at the mess, muttering a “not gonna clean that up,” before heading straight to his room, pretending as if he never saw the three people in the hallway.

renjun runs his hands through his hair to find watery bits of snow. laughing, he throws it at chenle, who shrieks before punching renjun lightly on the arm.

jaemin, being the most sensible of the three, has already shrugged out of his snow-covered clothes, and reappeared in the hall, grasping three cups of hot chocolate. he gives them both a cup, and renjun says “this is why you’re my favorite!” happily as jaemin blushes.

chenle, catching the blush on jaemin’s cheeks, laughs wholeheartedly, and teases “then, renjun is your favorite, huh?”

the smirk on chenle’s face goes unseen by jaemin as he lets out a soft “yeah…”, observing renjun as he prances his way across the room, doing ballet leaps and poses, already high off the sugar in the hot chocolate.

renjun jumps across the room just in time for jisung to bustle in, face of horror as he scrutinizes renjun getting snow all across the living room.

(“and you two idiots just sat there watching him, laughing. chenle, i expected this from you. but jaemin? how could you?”)

 

the rest of their day is free, and with nowhere to go and nowhere to be, renjun and jaemin stay holed up in jaemin’s room streaming stupid shows that they don’t really pay attention to. the afternoon lull is nice, and they quietly take in each other’s company. jaemin’s exceptionally busy staring at renjun to take in the show (and then looking away when renjun looks at him), and renjun’s too busy trying to catch jaemin staring at him.

it’s a game of cat and mouse; although the cat isn’t really trying to catch the mouse and the mouse is almost daring himself to get caught.

jaemin yearns for things to move forward, beyond this half friendship, half romance thing they’ve seemingly fallen into. he’s never been one for slow-paced stories. he’s always demanded things to happen quickly. but, there’s something that keeps him hesitating, and he’s unsure about what it is.

he opens his mouth to question, but before he can, a loud shout from the hallway is heard, and they hurriedly head out jaemin’s room, concerned.

all they find outside is a jisung, blindfolded, swiping blindly at everything around the room. he squeaks as another picture frame drops the ground. renjun cackles at the sight of a confused jisung and takes picture after picture, laughing in delight as he runs around, screaming “chenle!” as he takes out the vases that lie on the counter.

and all jaemin can do is look on in delight as the corner’s of renjun’s mouth quirk up cutely. renjun’s cute. overly too cute for jaemin to handle. he reaches up and squishes his cheek, something that causes renjun to look back at him.

his heart beats faster as renjun comes near, and jaemin laughs nervously as their faces come close. he can see every small detail on renjun’s face; from swirling colours in his eyes, to the cut jawline.

jaemin has to remind himself to breathe.

they stand face to face, close together for some while until chenle, like the brat he is, snaps his fingers in between the two, laughing about ‘revenge’ as they jump apart. jaemin’s flustered, and so is renjun. what makes all of this worse however, is the look on chenle’s face that reveals how much he knows. 

it’s hard to hide how he feels. damn, he’s pretty sure everyone knows. it’s as if he has a big sign on his forehead that says something along the lines of ‘i love renjun with my whole heart’.

mark jostles him with his elbow every time jaemin barely even peeks at renjun, donghyuck yells jokes about “their relationship”, chenle and jisung make kissing noises and jeno keeps on whispering to renjun and glancing—glaring—at jaemin, as if daring him to do something.

it’s odd, how quickly everyone can pick up on a mood, just like that.

jaemin thinks it’s because they’ve grown up together, because they’ve known each other through ups and downs, through tears and smiles, through about every scenario imaginable.

 

jaemin’s unsure of when their late night snack runs turned from all seven of them into just two—renjun and jaemin.

donghyuck “didn’t wanna come”, mark was who knows where, and the rest made up silly excuses that jaemin didn’t have effort to repute.

so now the two of them are clutching a list of grocery items, walking towards a convenience store. the late-night breeze is nice, and jaemin’s wearing a sweatshirt that’s warm and comfy with a puffy winter jacket on top. the moon is out and full tonight, so streets without lights still have plenty of light for them to see the road ahead.

they’re quiet, and jaemin doesn’t bother starting a conversation. he enjoys the silence.

finally, they make their way into the convenience store, greeting the essentially falling asleep employee, before raiding the shelves. renjun diligently tries to keep them on task with the list, but jaemin craves to buy what he pleases to (there’s a reason no one ever lets him do the weekly shopping).

“renjun?” he calls down the aisle, “can we get these?” he holds three packs of gummy bears on top of his head, pleading with renjun.

renjun sighs.

“sure.” he throws his hands up, throwing the list of items across the store, clearly having given up following the list. jaemin smiles. “i love you!” he calls to renjun from down the aisle. renjun looks down at the hearing of jaemin’s words, and jaemin walks to renjun, teasing him about the blush on his cheeks. renjun, being the responsible one, shoves jaemin into a wall of chips, and nearly has to pay for all the chips he’s done damage to.

renjun only gets away with it because the shop owner has a small, tiny soft spot for him that renjun keeps denying.

jaemin can’t blame the owner for having a soft spot for renjun; if he was the owner, he’d give renjun everything and anything he ever wanted.

 

he slings his arm over renjun’s shoulder as they walk home. they arrive home to find five people squished on a single couch together, and jaemin grins as he jumps on top of the pile while renjun, ever the mature one, dumps the snacks on the ground, getting a bag for himself.

“grab your own bag.” he retorts as jaemin reaches over to grab some chips. all it takes is a pout for renjun to let jaemin take some of his snacks.

“whipped” jabbers chenle to renjun in a whisper; jaemin pretends he didn't hear that, but his face burns from something that he isn’t quite sure of. is it embarrassment? he doesn’t know. 

the movie ends, and jaemin slips out of the room, his cheeks still blushing from the relentless teasing during the movie. he sits on top of the covers of his bed, thinking and waiting and listening to the clock tick by. he doesn’t know what to do.

where does he start? where will he end?

distraught, he sits, restless on his bed. he tries sleeping, but he doesn’t manage to sleep, only to slip in and out of a sleep-like period. he’s too tired to move, too awake to sleep. the hours pass by slowly, and jaemin feels feverish. he opens the window in his room, sensing heat coming off his body in waves.

it’s odd, the way jaemin’s feeling, he’s cold and hot all at the same time and so uncomfortable. he flips back and forth in his bed, he kicks off the covers on his bed, and then redoes them. he stands up and walks in circles, and adjusts his pillow to try to sleep, but nothing seems to work. the window’s blowing a cold breeze in this whole time, but jaemin can’t seem to notice how cold the room’s getting, conflicted by his uncomfortableness.

 

it’s early morning when a figure stumbles into the room and says something that jaemin doesn’t manage to catch, before crossing the room to the window to slam it shut. they lay a hand on his head, and he can’t be bothered to open his eyes to see who it is. exhausted, he slips into a calm sleep.

when he wakes up, the room looks brighter than it had before, although the shades are still closed. a cloth is on his nightstand, as well as a bowl of water. jaemin stares, confusedly at the two objects while he attempts to wake up fully.

“you’re awake now!” renjun comforts as he comes into the room. jaemin tries to stand up to meet renjun, to brush off his sleepiness, but his legs wobble as soon as he tries to get up.

“whoa!” renjun says, rushing to hold jaemin’s arm, “you were in a pretty high fever last night…” he trails off at that, letting go of jaemin’s arm as jaemin (miserably) shrinks down into his bed. renjun tidies up his nightstand, placing a fresh bottle of water, and some tissues to the side. “stay here.” he nags protectively, and jaemin’s heart swells because being sick isn’t as bad when he has renjun by his side.

renjun sways out of the room, shouting a “be right back!”, giving jaemin time to sort out his thoughts. it makes sense now, the uncomfortable sticky cold feeling jaemin underwent last night.

but still, the emotions he felt last night as here and stronger than ever. they swirl around in his stomach, poking him. jaemin needs to get a hold on himself before he loses one of the best friendships he’s ever had. sighing, he relaxes back into his pillows propped upright, finishing off the whole bottle of water.

renjun comes back in with a bowl of soup, and jaemin shooes him away simultaneously. “i don’t want to eat.” jaemin pouts, and renjun sighs as he places the bowl back in his hands. “you're gonna regret that…” he scoffs.

 

being sick has its benefits; jaemin has time to think, time to relax, and most of all, he gets renjun all to himself. they watch netflix together, hand in hand on his bed.

just being with renjun just takes a toll off of jaemin.

and that’s how jaemin figures it all out. he figures out what the swirling feelings mean, why he so desperately wants to kiss renjun at times, and why the colors shine so much more vividly when renjun is around.

renjun sits beside him while he thinks silently, and he desperately wishes to tell him what he’s figured out. but the other side of his mind tells him what he’s afraid to hear.

after all, what if renjun doesn’t think of jaemin in the same way?

he’s falling, deeply down into a renjun-sized hole.

the more time he spends with renjun, the more he wants to shout from the rooftops how adorable renjun is. and that isn’t even the best part of it all.

the best part is when he can persuade renjun to have a sleepover in his room because he’s lonely all by himself. when they’re both together, alone, whispering quietly to each other, jaemin flies. it’s beautiful.

conversations don’t appear to stop until the exact moment jaemin falls asleep. random topics are brought up, and jaemin wishes every night that he could stop time for the two of them, just so that they could talk more. every bit of information that jaemin learns about renjun in those moments he wishes to save. jaemin wants to retain everything they talk about all tied up with a bow in his mind, for safekeeping.

jeno doesn’t make it any easier for jaemin. jeno, knowing about jaemin’s case with renjun, has stopped at exactly nothing to tease the other about him. jaemin thinks that if he were to blush any harder, he’d turn permanently into a ripe tomato.

something twists and turns in jaemin’s stomach as he gazes at renjun. it’s concerning, how close renjun is, and yet how far he is. he’s laughing at something chenle said, and jaemin’s mouth quirks up at the sight of a happy boy. jaemin wishes he could pack up that smile and take it everywhere he goes.

 

two weeks pass by quickly, and jaemin wonders where the time has gone. they have a comeback on the verge of breaking through. and with days of recording and practicing, jaemin stops thinking about where the line stops between flirting and dating. it’s so hard, so tiring to function after beyond tiring days, jaemin doesn’t care what ends up on camera.

dinner’s been the quietest it has been in a while, everyone thinking over their own improvements and what they still need to work on in their comeback. chopsticks click over silent chewing.

jaemin looks across the table to renjun, who hasn’t looked up and met jaemin’s eyes the whole day. renjun’s been acting strangely, and all of sudden, he abruptly stops eating and stands up.

“i’m going to take a walk.” he says to the rest of the group, promptly placing his bowl in the sink, running outside with nothing but a sweatshirt on. he’s halfway out the door by the time jaemin stands up. he looks helplessly towards the door, walking towards it, but chenle tugs him down to his seat.

“he’ll come back when he wants to. don’t go looking for him.” jaemin sighs, and sits back down to the now incomplete table of six. there’s something wrong, and jaemin knows it. renjun doesn’t like going outside by himself, nor would he be as dumb on a regular day as not to bring extra layers out into the cold night.

distressed, jaemin waits outside their door after dinner, waiting for a lean shadow to pass by.

finally, he sees a hooded figure, and without a doubt, jaemin knows that it’s renjun. jaemin pushes himself off the wall, and stands alongside renjun, cupping renjun’s face in his hands, taking off his hood. renjun’s face is tear ridden, and he stiffens at the sight of jaemin, who tries to wipe away his tears as they come down in cold flurries like snow. they melt on his fingers, and he brushes them away over and over again.

“you okay?” he hesitates after asking it; it’s a dumb question and they both know that. renjun isn’t okay. if he was, they wouldn’t be here right now, having a conversation outside in the freezing cold.

“ahh...it’s nothing, just some homesickness, you know?” renjun’s lying through his teeth, but jaemin doesn’t want to tear him down today. he’s too distressed, too tired to sit down with renjun and demand the truth.

“i was worried, why did you go out so late and not bring a jacket?” jaemin holds the arm of renjun’s sweatshirt, feeling how thin the clothing is. renjun shrugs. “why do you care so much?” he asks defensively, and jaemin takes a few steps back, feeling the punches of his words.

“because you’re my best friend jun, and i love you and want to protect you.” jaemin thinks that’s what he should say. after all, that’s what renjun wants to hear...right?

_wrong._

renjun’s lips grow thinner and tighter at his words, practically wincing. “right. well, i’m sorry for making you worry, best friend.” he bitterly spits out the last part while getting up, brushing the dirt off his pants. jaemin tries to block his path, but renjun’s already gone, up the staircase, up to his own room, and slamming the door shut.

did he do something wrong? jaemin stares at the closed door, mystified. he’s so used to things going his way, so used to renjun being warm and accepting, that the opposite hits him like a weight of bricks, absolutely tearing jaemin down.

 

and just like that, jaemin’s stuck. he’s stuck like a piece of lint to clothes, like a moth to the light; trapped in everything he holds dear.

the air around him is suffocating, especially when he’s with renjun. jaemin sits on his bed waiting nightly for renjun’s door to stay open, a sign that he can go in, but it remains closed, and with it ends jaemin’s happiness.

he’s miserable in a cycle of eat, practice, sleep.

leisure time means jaemin staring wistfully across the room at renjun, wondering what exactly he did wrong. he complains to jeno, who can only mindlessly mutter a “okay” back; they’re all so busy now, with scheduling and events and performances. half the days, jaemin doesn’t even have the effort to verbally complain.

to make things worse, comeback season means tension rising in every wrong move. and with everyone’s in low spirits after a not-so great day of performing, mark calls a meeting.

jaemin doesn’t want to go to the meeting for one reason: he doesn’t want to be the catalyst to an argument that bound to happen. in fact, he would much rather go home, crawl into his burrow of sheets, and forget about tripping over both jeno and renjun almost at the same time. he wants to forget about how the camera panned in on him at one of his worst parts.

jaemin’s upset, and he doesn’t want to add anything else to the fire. so when mark calls a group meeting, he thinks up twelve different ways of saying no to it. but mark is relentless, and he nags at jaemin until jaemin gives up. and so, now here he sits, grasping a pillow for support, next to donghyuck.

 

mark calls the meeting to order as if it’s official; although it’s just the seven of them in jeno’s room. no one takes the first step to say something.

“alright,” mark clears his throat, “let’s go around in a circle and talk about what went wrong today.” everyone groans all together, but mark won’t budge. he refuses to let them go until they all have a chance to talk.

“i’ll go first then.” mark hesitates first, but then continues on.

“so...jaemin, why were you so distracted today?” jaemin’s stomach plummets, and he doesn’t want to answer it because the answer is sitting right in this room.

he says something about not getting enough sleep, and then jeno mutters something that jaemin can’t exactly hear. but, something inside of him snaps, and all of a sudden, he’s standing up, pointing a finger at jeno.

“what did you just say?” he warns, and jeno flushes angry. “i said bullshit. you’re full of crap na jaemin.” jaemin shoots him a glare, and mark opens his mouth to say something, but jaemin’s too tired, and too done with everything around.

“you’re done with my bullshit? excuse me?”

“don’t you see how far you’re breaking this team?” several other heads bob at jeno’s statement, and jaemin grows angrier and angrier.

“how am i, in any way shape or form, breaking this team, jeno?” jaemin snaps.

“the fact that you can’t focus on anything but renjun and your silly crush on him. i have two words for you jaemin: grow up.” jeno accuses as all the blood rushes to jaemin’s face. he scrambles out of his chair, and he’s out the door before jeno can get another sentence in. 

jaemin didn’t expect the day to go this way. he had gotten out of bed this morning on his own accord, and had a whole hour before they left to get ready, unlike the rush he tends to scramble into on normal days.

however, now he’s standing outside of his warm dorm room, looking up to the smoke rising through the chimney.

he can’t go back inside, now that everything’s gone to shreds.

 

jaemin’s picking apart his thoughts, upset and worried about the future. what more could go wrong? he wonders, and as if called upon, a figure appear in the shadows.

jaemin groans. “mark, i don't need any of your sympathy.” he warns him, but the shadow doesn’t say anything, instead choosing to inch closer to the light. jaemin calls out uncertaintly, “mark…?”

could it be renjun? he peers into the darkness, looking for some sign of the older boy, who walks out of the darkness and drapes a jacket onto jaemin. “you forgot to bring a jacket out.” he says in that voice of his, reminding jaemin of everything that symbolizes home to him.

renjun.

“i’m sorry,” he apologizes, and renjun raises an eyebrow at him.

“for what, having a crush on me? because i can just walk right back inside if that’s the case.” renjun’s sassy remark catches jaemin off guard and he stammers out a “no-” as renjun smirks, “that’s what i thought.”

slowly, he closes the space in between them. jaemin’s back hits the wall, and he lets out a little “ow” as renjun’s face gets closer and closer to his own.

jaemin’s eyes trail back and forth across renjun’s face. slowly, renjun closes the space in between him.

and everything finally feels alright. jaemin’s world has shifted back to normal. the universe is complete now. snow starts to fall on them, but jaemin doesn’t want to go inside just yet. he wants to continue watching renjun blush all prettily; he wants to stay in this little bubble of warmth that they’ve created.

 

jaemin loves the snow far more than he ever should; and it’s all because of renjun.

**Author's Note:**

> whooo this took me way too long...writer's block really punched me in the gut :/
> 
> as always, thanks for reading <<333333  
> what did you guys think of this?
> 
>  
> 
> come yell at me on [twitter!!](https://twitter.com/starlightrenjun) @starlightrenjun cause i want to scream about the dreamies (and how precious they are GOSH)


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